My mother had multiple sclerosis from before I was born. I never knew any different, other than knowing her as a sick person and my father as her carer.
FathoM is a visual diary, exploring my fear of transience in response to witnessing the body’s vulnerability. The slow deterioration caused by the illness produced an acute awareness in me of how fragile we are: it’s like I’m waiting for the past to repeat itself.
I began thinking about the strain of the demands on family carers. My father had to be both parents to my brother and me, with an unquantifiable impact on our experience of growing up into men.
I gradually pieced together intuitive imagery that began to materialise this sense of loss and a malaise about the body. By recollecting family experiences through the camera, I contemplate the mystery of my lost relationship with my mother. I remember the beauty and fear in the undervalued work of caring that my father carried out with strength and devotion.
